Attitude, as they say, is everything.
Getting into and staying at a peak mental state is the prerequisite for high performance and achievement.
Here’s a cheat sheet to get yourself into a peak state and/or to change your state when you find yourself in a bad place mentally.
(By the way, these are in no particular order. ย They all work and are all appropriate at one time or another.)
Powerful Questions:
One of the best ways to get yourself right mentally is to ask powerful questions.
1. ย What am I grateful for? ย We can grow myopic quickly and lose sight of our many blessings. ย Recalling all the gifts God has given us can bring us back to objectivity and restore our positive mental state. ย There’s power in an “attitude of gratitude.”
2. ย What else could this mean? ย We often work ourselves into a mental state based on a circumstance involving other people or institutions. ย Someone does something, says something, or as is often the case, doesn’tย do something and it rubs us the wrong way. ย Instead of applying meaning where there is no meaning, we should open ourselves up to the possibility that we’re reading it wrong.
3. ย Now what? ย When things don’t go our way we can go in circles focusing on the negative and obsessing over what’s happened. ย Learn to turn the page by asking, “now what?”
4. ย Where’s the gift? ย In every circumstance, there is a gift. ย It’s up to us to find it. ย Asking this question creates a mental quest that gets our brains heading in a positive direction.
5. ย What’s the lesson? ย We don’t learn by succeeding. ย We learn by failing. ย When things aren’t going your way, ask what lesson this provides that is going to make you better.
6. ย What must I believe is true to feel this way? ย Sometimes we feel defeated, frustrated, or heartbroken. ย This question exposes the fallacy of the underlying beliefs we must hold to feel those emotions.ย Here are some example answers. ย “I’d have to believe this is the end, which it isn’t. ย I’d have to believe there is nowhere else to go from here, which is ridiculous. ย I’d have to believe the past equals the future, which it doesn’t. ย I’d have to believe God is no longer in control, which He obviously is!” ย When you pursue this line, you change things VERY quickly.
Actions
7. ย Move ย – Tony Robbins says that motion creates emotion. ย If you’re down, your physical body will reflect that. ย Get up! ย Put your head up! ย Pull your shoulders back. ย Create some motion and your emotion will change as well.
8. ย Do A Good Deed – This is best when you don’t tell anyone, especially the person who benefits. ย You’ll feel great all day!
9. ย Forgive Someone – You want to turn things around quick? ย Take an old hurt, forgive, and be done with it once and for all.
10. ย Ask for Forgiveness – Go to someone you’ve offended and offer a sincere apology. ย Ask for their forgiveness. ย You’ll be amazed.
11. ย Say Something Nice – When you are down, make a point to start complimenting everyone you see. ย “I like that blouse.” ย “You have the best smile.” ย Complimenting others will turn you around in no time.
12. ย Get outside – Go sit on a bench or just walk outside for a bit. ย Take in the sunshine and enjoy the view. ย Really tap into the beauty all around us; the clouds, the trees, the wind.
13. ย Crank up your favorite tunes – Music is the balm for your soul. ย It transports us instantly. ย You will find it difficult to stay in a bad mood when your favorite up-beat music is playing.
14. ย Sing – You can choose to combine this one with #13 or not. ย It doesn’t matter if you are a good singer or bad, when you belt it out you feel better.
15. ย Pray –ย Prayer is powerfulย for so many reasons, not least of which is the impact the discipline has on the one praying. ย Your prayer doesn’t need to be long, eloquent, or impressive. ย It just needs to be real. ย Did I mention that prayer has power?
16. ย Exercise – Exercise gets your endorphins flowing. ย Even something short and simple near your desk such as push ups or jumping jacks can make a huge difference.
17. ย Take a walk – This combines #7, #12, and #16. ย If you have an iPod you can bring #13 for a ride as well. ย Come to think of it, going for a walk may be one of the most powerful things you can do.
18. ย Turn off the news – The news is negative. ย Even stimuli like sports talk radio which for many people revolves around a pastime they enjoy is mostly negative. ย “Everything is going to crap,” is the sum of all headlines. ย Turn it off. ย It’s not helping you.
19. ย Look at your vision boardย – Don’t have a vision board? ย Make one.ย When you’re in a negative place stand in front of your vision board for 2 minutes and your mental state will change.
20. ย Get away from negative energy – If you’re around people who are being negative, it will affect you. ย If you’re in a group of people who are complaining or whining, politely dismiss yourself and go somewhere else.
21. ย Recite affirmations – If you don’t know the power of affirmations, now’s the time to start. ย This isn’t the lame, Stuart Smalley variety of affirmations. ย Doing affirmations right is one of the most powerful things you can do to ensure your own success.
22. ย Listen to Personal Development – Everyone should have some “go to” personal development audio from Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, or whoever your favorite success coach happens to be.
23. ย Recite Scripture – As with prayer, Scripture has a supernatural power to transform us. ย Hebrews 4:12 says “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” ย Psalm 37:30-31 tells us that the righteous man doesn’t slip because the Word of God is “in his heart.”
24. ย Take deep breaths and relax – Negativity breeds tension. ย Breathe deeply and feel the vibrancy of your life. ย You are ALIVE.
25. ย Recall your achievements – When you “lose” in life begin to immediately recall those times when you won or were at your peak. ย See yourself as the winner from those images.
26. ย Do it again – This one is for those times when we fall on our face. ย Maybe it was a sales call or an attempt to pitch an idea to the boss or a conversation with a distant teen. ย If it doesn’t go well, the worst thing would be to let it just sit and fester. ย We need to pick ourselves back up and do it again as soon as possible. ย Get back in the ring!
27. ย Speak to your coach – Call your coach and tell them your in a negative place. ย Let them work you through it. ย Don’t have a coach? ย What??? Click here.
28. ย Recount what went right – When you have a negative experience and things have gone badly, you can easily start beating yourself up. ย Instead, start listing everything that went right and congratulating yourself for it.
29. ย Eliminate Generalization Words – We move quickly to hyperbole when we’re negative. ย We alwaysย do this or never get that right. ย Eliminate always, never, completely, ย and other generalization words from your vocabulary until you’re positive again.
30. ย Eliminate All Negative Talk – Don’t insult yourself. ย Don’t whine. ย Don’t say ANYTHING that is negative. ย Go immediately to your power questions to fill up your inner dialog.
31. ย Journal – Journaling some power questions like, “where’s the gift,” and “what’s the lesson,” is an excellent way to both stay positive and create a powerful feedback and reflection loop.
32. ย Eliminate Profanity – Profanity is a cop-out; a mental crutch. ย When we are cursing, we are not having to think. ย If you force yourself to NOT use profanity in a bad moment your brain will have to fill in the blank with something else. ย That something else will almost always be more productive.
33. ย Imagine Your Hero – Picture your hero in the same situation. ย What would they do? ย How would they handle it? ย Did they have any adversity in their life? ย How did it compare to what you are experiencing?
34. ย Surround Yourself with Positive People – You should do this as much as possible to keep yourself in a positive state. ย But when you are in a negative state of mind, it is critical!
35. ย Avoid Alcohol – Though I enjoy an adult beverage from time to time, I am not someone who drinks on a daily basis. ย Even still, I have a rule. ย I NEVER drink when I am sad, frustrated, or upset. ย Alcohol is a depressant and will only make things worse. ย Moreover, it doesn’t take much for a drink when sad to become a crutch and then a dangerous habit. ย Don’t do it.
36. ย Eat Something REALLY Healthy – The counter-point to #35 is eating something really good for you. ย I have a BlendTec that I love! ย I make homemade smoothies with organic greens and fruit and clean proteins. ย You always feel great about yourself when you are doing something healthy, and a burst of vitamins, minerals, and amino acids in your system will have a positive effect on your brain.
37. ย Write a Thank You Note – The more you can find an attitude of gratitude the better. ย When you’re down, think of someone who you’re thankful for and write them a note to let them know.
38. ย Get Excited – The possibilities are endless! ย Get fired up!!!
39. ย Laugh Out Loud – Watch your favorite hilarious YouTube video, put on a comedian like Brian Regan or Tim Hawkins, or get around your kids. ย Whatever will make you really truly laugh out loud.
40. ย Don’t Blame – The blame game is the easiest card to play in adversity. ย Don’t do it! ย The buck stops with you. ย Embrace that and refuse to let yourself blame others. ย It will keep you from a negative spiral.
41. ย Don’t Play the Victim – Don’t let yourself go do the path of “woe is me.” ย Use the responses below and take charge.
42. ย Dance – We’ve said move, and exercise, and listen to favorite music, but when you put it all together and just shake your groove thing you’re going to feel really good. ย Lock the door, pull down the blinds, and have your own little Ren MacCormack moment.
43. ย Stay in the Present – Negativity can breed worry. ย Our brain will race down a rabbit hole of “what-ifs” and we’ll start seeing every bad consequence we can imagine falling like dominoes before us. ย We’re not at the mercy of fate and worry is a worthless exercise. ย What happens from here will be determined by the choices we make right now. ย So stay present and make a good next move.
44. ย Turn Your Negative Statement into A Power Question – We often say negative things like, “I can never lose the weight,” or “I’m never going to win that deal.” ย We need to turn these types of statements into a power question by putting the word, “How,” in front. ย “How can I lose the weight? or How can win the deal?” ย The key to this one? ย Listen to your answers. ย Make a list because your subconscious genius will spit out some gems.
Responses
45. ย Awesome! ย – I like to say something positive immediately when something doesn’t go my way. ย It keeps me in a positive vein. ย “Mr. Ross, you were not selected to speak at the conference. ย Thank you for your interest.” ย AWESOME!
46. ย Yes!!! ย – This is similar to awesome but for me has a different underlying meaning. ย “Yes” is my reminder that this setback is an opportunity. ย It causes me to look for the gift and the new open door.
47. ย That’s all you got? ย – When something bad happens such as a flat tire on your way to the appointment or the projector going out right before your big presentation, just say, “That’s all you got?” and laugh. ย It’s a reminder that you’re so much tougher than what life has to dish out.
48. ย I welcome this! – This is my wife’s favorite and I love it as well. ย We know that there is no testimony without a test, so when those trials come, we say, “I welcome this!” ย It means good things are to come.
49. ย I’m so glad it’s me! – The underlying thought behind this one is that I am a strong person who can handle adversity, so I’m glad that if someone has to have this happen to them today, it’s me.
50. ย I got this! – Have the attitude that you are in control. ย Just because something has set you back or knocked you off course doesn’t mean you aren’t going to win. ย Say it twice just for good measure.
Just One More
51. ย Bookmark this page – When you get a little negative, you can get back here fast and get on track.
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